MOTHERHOOD IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT

Toni, full-time teacher from Mount Washington, is mom to 2 beautiful children...

Tell us a little about your road to parenthood. "Your life follows a natural progression. As soon as you meet the man of your dreams he drops down on one knee and asks you to spend eternity with him. Very soon after that you have your fairytale wedding. Then it’s not long until you’re looking in countless stores to find that perfect shade of canary yellow to go in your precious angel’s nursery. You’ve dreamed all your life about having your first child and what it would be like. You imagine and plan every detail even down to your matching pajama and house shoes for the hospital. For 34 weeks you have felt this wonderful creation growing inside you. You have gone to countless doctor appointments excitedly watching her grow week by week, eager to catch a glimpse of her tiny toes and button nose, anticipating her arrival at any point. Each week you grow more and more impatient as the days drag on. You’ve read all the books and gotten countless pointers from all your family and friends. You are ready!..........Then motherhood throws you a slight curveball, your precious angel is indeed far more precious then you could have ever imagined. When you finally get that first glimpse you do in fact see that she is just like you had envisioned. She has the most precious tiny toes and button nose that God could have ever created and her eyes glisten just like her daddies. She has jet black hair as shinny as silk and a smile that lights up the room. Her heart is a bit more delicate than maybe we had planned but beating strong and eager to survive. Her muscles, maybe a bit weaker than we had envisioned but still kicking with all their might to see where they could go. Her breathing a bit more labored than what was expected but getting stronger daily. Her chromosomes arranged a bit different than anticipated but arranged to make beautiful precious Addison!"

"I will not lie: finding out Addison had Down Syndrome was very scary. What I knew about it was very superficial. I had really only been exposed to children with Down Syndrome at the school in which I teach. I had a multitude of emotions raging through my body all at once. It was a bit overwhelming in the beginning."

"Luckily, a very wonderful organization paid us a visit in the hospital. They were Down Syndrome of Louisville. A very nice lady by the name of Diana came to visit us. She brought a lot of information with her and a shoulder to cry on, and she answered any questions we had. She was very reassuring at a very critical time. Motherhood was presented in a different light but it is the most beautiful light I have ever seen!"

Any advice for women in early pregnancy? "Don’t read too much or it will scare you to death. I made the mistake of reading “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” from cover to cover. I read about some great things but I also read about some frightening things. I read so much that if any little symptom I had matched anything they talked about in the book I panicked. You can go over-board following every little food restriction, best practice procedure in the beginning. You need to eat healthy and be cautious but don’t let it consume you."

Any struggles with either pregnancy? "Surprisingly enough my pregnancy with both my children was very easy. I had no morning sickness with either one and I felt great."

Helpful resources? "Down Syndrome of Louisville, www.babycenter.com, Parents Magazine and What to Expect When You're Expecting."

How you have prepared, or rather yet, looking back what was something you were not prepared for? "Motherhood is an amazing experience and your body is on sensory overload. I think with my first child the hardest thing was that first week back home from the hospital. You are finally on your own, no nurses to watch over him at night or to answer your questions. Its all you!!! Especially if you are breastfeeding. You are mentally and physically exhausted. You get very little sleep and the sleep you do get you spend worrying about the baby the entire night. I spent the whole first 6 months of my son’s life constantly checking on him at night making sure he was still breathing and if I couldn’t tell I would wake him up. He slept with me until he was two years old. I couldn’t let go of the fear that something might happen to him during the night and I wouldn’t hear him. Luckily, before my second child came I overcame that fear and relaxed a little. Thank heavens I had Addison second or I don’t think I would have made it. I was much more relaxed the second time around, not so green. It would have been far too overwhelming, I think, to deal with the pressures of being a first time mother and having a baby with Down Syndrome."

Is being a mom what you expected? "It is far more that I could have ever imagined. I knew that being a mother would be an amazing journey but I couldn’t even begin to fathom how full my heart would be. I have this immense sense of pride showing the world my beautiful children."

What's the best thing so far about being a new parent? "Getting the never-ending supplies of hugs and kisses, watching their eyes light up when you walk in the room and experiencing their growth both mentally and physically and watching them blossom into more than you could have ever imagined!" Those night time tucks into bed when they give you a million hugs and kisses and without prompting say those magical words, “ I LOVE YOU MOMMY!"